Ah, Chastity!

Ah Chastity!

Controlling one’s mind is a particular pleasure for me, but I also value controlling the body as well. Of course being in charge of both can be a particularly challenging, albeit rewarding, conquest. Read more

Forget Porn Addiction, Let’s Talk About Connection: Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s “Don Jon”

I saw a movie tonight that I thought might be interesting because it is written and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (the youngest from the 90s sit com Third Rock From the Sun about a “gaggle”? of aliens landed on Earth), whose work I have admired since that wacky sit com was on the air. But this is neither a discussion of Gordon-Levitt nor a movie review. What I want to address is what I think this movie is capable of doing. I think that the potentiality of “Don Jon” to provoke heart felt and interesting conversation between, (primarily straight mainstream younger), couples is quite profound. Read more

October News and Events

Hello My Dear Erotic Explorers!

October and November are going to be INTENSE. So instead of bludgeoning you with details, (we’ll do that another way, shall we?), let me give you a synopsis of items to add to your calendar:

 book_cover  Thurs Oct 10th A Touch of Kink: Bondassage Good Vibrations, Polk St

Tickets! http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/471607

o-word Fri Oct 11th Podcast with Anya de Montigney and Madison Young

Mon Oct 14th Urban Tantra Good Vibrations Polk st
Tickets! http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/473096

Wed Oct 16th Art Panel Discussion/Performance on Art and Sex. My topic: Psychic Waste Management

Mon Oct 21st Dr Dick Podcast

Tues Oct 22nd Erotic Role Play at The Armory and Kink.com

(Sat and Sun Oct 26th and 27th Bondassage Workshop Private Class)

Besides a foot party, classes and a podcast in NOVEMBER, please save the date for the FIRST Erotic Dominance Intensive for Women over 45 years old!
Cleo and I are bursting with pride over this amazing workshop designed specifically to suit the needs of the mature female Dominant. Please fwd the info widely. Only 3 spaces left!

Sat/Sun Nov 9th and 10th Erotic Dominance Intensive

Keep exploring your love and lust for a more deeply connected life!

Until next time…

In Love and Kink,


Supperclub Bondage Dinner (March part 1)

The supperclub Bondage dinner is an evening of fine dining, performance art, and saucy, playful sensuality. Artful, sexy aerialists, opera divas, live bondage riggers, and gender-bending burlesque dancers plus Supperclub’s fabulous 4-course gourmet dinner. Suspension bondage artists include Tom Foolery and Jessi K. Fire play with Eva Lucien and you willl ~never~ believe where Narcissister is hiding her outfit. We interview the founders of Playpen.com (a wiki-social networking website for porn stars) and pirates, wenches, and booty-licious bondage take over the supperclub. Hostess Miss Vee declares that “slut is the new black,” professional dominatrix and kink educator Eve Minax ponders how spirituality and BDSM are interconnected, why she adores smart-ass masochists and bratty bottoms, and the difference between control and “containment” by the discerning top.  While describing powerful performances by Eva Lucien and Narcissister, Monika delves into the entrepreneurial minds of Cathy Claudio and James Johnston, creators of Playpen.com, a website where adult models can monetize and express their own genuine, unscripted sexualities and directly reach fans.  Finally, oil painter and erotic photographer Nancy Peach lovingly describes a series she created that was too risqué even for the walls of San Francisco kink-friendly coffee shop, Wicked Grounds!

What Do You Want? Getting the Kinks Out with Mistress Minax

Sexploration with Monika – What Do You Want? Getting the Kinks Out with Mistress Minax


What do you really want? If someone gave you the opportunity to really ask for your erotic or experiential desires, what would you ask for?
What kind of touch, healing, sensation or stimulation? Of course, even though you paid a small fee for your ticket, you only get 20 minutes, but what’s on the menu may surprise you with it’s depth, breadth, and complexity. These are real erotic service providers and your wishes will be taken completely seriously. The “This is What I Want Festival” at the Center for Sex and Culture is an experiential performance art piece conceptualizing the economy of desire. We’ll discuss desire, desires, and more with professional dominatrix and sex educator Eve Minax, who was one of the artists at the event. We’ll find out what she offered, and what audience members experienced.

We’ll also discuss how trauma can affect your sex life, and how to heal. You’ll learn what Trauma Release Exercises from Dr. David Berceli have to do with your thrusting and flight-or-flight muscle.

Eve and I are in the Minax Mini-Mansion and Dungeonette, and we’ll also discuss the 3-day Dominance Intensive for which she is currently packing her paddles, whips, and shiny boots. Her other classes, like “You’re Going to Need an Enema for That” are nearly literally a three-ring circus of surprises! We’ll also learn how she “gets the kinks out” of her ever-so-willing “patients” in medical play scene. Is there a connection between the spiritual side of sexuality and BDSM, what’s tantra got to do with kinky sex? Can you can teach someone how to kiss?  kinks_out

How to negotiate a scene by KL Joy

Hey folks! My name is KL Joy, and I’m going to write a little today about how to negotiate a scene with a potential play partner. Now, I’m not talking about relationships; I’m talking about that first sexy time you see someone in a club and want to get some of their style going on. Ultimately the word negotiation means to communicate openly and clearly what you want and don’t want out of a scene.

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Help and Change: Let Me Help You Change?

As a professional coach who has worked with hundreds of people over the years, one question keeps recurring: “How could I ever tell my (current/future), partner of my desires? S/he would never understand.” I see and understand the dilemma. Societally, we simply do not talk about sex the way we might food, clothing, or reading preferences, so it’s not so easy to say, Read more

Consent and Fantasy: Ruminations on Amanda Berry et al

What started as a Facebook post  now has become a full fledged entry for me as I continue the dialogue around the horrors of what happened with those young women in Cleveland. I have been ruminating for days. Honestly, I am still speechless. I want to flee from my own profession in order not to be associated with such horror. I feel weak and ineffectual. Read more

Quandary: Negotiating and Troubleshooting Your Scenes

May 19, 2013 3:00 PM

Asking for what you want is hard. Getting what you want is harder. Accepting and rolling with it when you do not get what you want is even harder still. How do we get what we want in scene and give our partner what they want so everybody wins?

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Power Dynamics in BDSM/Kink Relationships

An often overlooked and misunderstood topic, this essay gives a thoughtful nudge to look a bit more closely at BDSM and Kink Relationships.