Can BDSM Help a Relationship?

Can BDSM help a relationship? I’d like to think so. Whether the relationship is new and you’re exploring or it’s mature and you are searching for new ways of connecting, there is a HUGE spectrum of choice for everyone. If you’re like me, variety is the spice of life. I liken it to soup- some people have a consommé daily, some people mix it up a bit with clam chowder Fridays, or some people have a different soup each day. It’s all up to you, and your partner(s) of course!

In a word, BDSM can help you know yourself better and if you know yourself well, you’ll be a better partner; and with better partnering comes great joy. I’ve been writing and teaching about kink, BDSM, healing, personal growth, and relationships for twenty some years. Fact? The reason I am still so passionate about this work is because I am a sucker for personal growth and development. There are an infinite number of reasons why and how BDSM can help you and your relationship. Listen to this interview or ask me directly. I’m here to help.

Here’s a wonderful interview with Shameless Sex Podcast. I hope you find it useful and as always, I value your thoughts and questions!

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Supperclub Bondage Dinner (March part 1)

The supperclub Bondage dinner is an evening of fine dining, performance art, and saucy, playful sensuality. Artful, sexy aerialists, opera divas, live bondage riggers, and gender-bending burlesque dancers plus Supperclub’s fabulous 4-course gourmet dinner. Suspension bondage artists include Tom Foolery and Jessi K. Fire play with Eva Lucien and you willl ~never~ believe where Narcissister is hiding her outfit. We interview the founders of (a wiki-social networking website for porn stars) and pirates, wenches, and booty-licious bondage take over the supperclub. Hostess Miss Vee declares that “slut is the new black,” professional dominatrix and kink educator Eve Minax ponders how spirituality and BDSM are interconnected, why she adores smart-ass masochists and bratty bottoms, and the difference between control and “containment” by the discerning top.  While describing powerful performances by Eva Lucien and Narcissister, Monika delves into the entrepreneurial minds of Cathy Claudio and James Johnston, creators of, a website where adult models can monetize and express their own genuine, unscripted sexualities and directly reach fans.  Finally, oil painter and erotic photographer Nancy Peach lovingly describes a series she created that was too risqué even for the walls of San Francisco kink-friendly coffee shop, Wicked Grounds!

What Do You Want? Getting the Kinks Out with Mistress Minax

Sexploration with Monika – What Do You Want? Getting the Kinks Out with Mistress Minax


What do you really want? If someone gave you the opportunity to really ask for your erotic or experiential desires, what would you ask for?
What kind of touch, healing, sensation or stimulation? Of course, even though you paid a small fee for your ticket, you only get 20 minutes, but what’s on the menu may surprise you with it’s depth, breadth, and complexity. These are real erotic service providers and your wishes will be taken completely seriously. The “This is What I Want Festival” at the Center for Sex and Culture is an experiential performance art piece conceptualizing the economy of desire. We’ll discuss desire, desires, and more with professional dominatrix and sex educator Eve Minax, who was one of the artists at the event. We’ll find out what she offered, and what audience members experienced.

We’ll also discuss how trauma can affect your sex life, and how to heal. You’ll learn what Trauma Release Exercises from Dr. David Berceli have to do with your thrusting and flight-or-flight muscle.

Eve and I are in the Minax Mini-Mansion and Dungeonette, and we’ll also discuss the 3-day Dominance Intensive for which she is currently packing her paddles, whips, and shiny boots. Her other classes, like “You’re Going to Need an Enema for That” are nearly literally a three-ring circus of surprises! We’ll also learn how she “gets the kinks out” of her ever-so-willing “patients” in medical play scene. Is there a connection between the spiritual side of sexuality and BDSM, what’s tantra got to do with kinky sex? Can you can teach someone how to kiss?  kinks_out