Ever felt like you were beating your head against a wall in a romantic or even kink based relationship? Why do you try so hard when all the other person does is shrug everything off? Perhaps it even seems as if they LIKE being yelled at? They often respond to anger more readily than discussion.
New research wants to tell us about “agreeableness” in partners. If you are agreeable you forgive readily, at least more readily than the non agreeable or unforgiving types. As a person who often responds angrily to transgressions, but always eventually forgives, I find this article both intriguing and frustrating. My habit is, if forgiveness feels good, do it until it doesn’t feel good or “right” – or until you recognize it just won’t matter. This is all assuming that the you and your partner are discussing said behavioral aspects and feelings around them as you go along. Once it no longer feels good, Stop. I mean it. Stop.