Bottoms Up! 10 Ways of Being a Great Bottom

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Oftentimes people conflate the terms “bottom” and “submissive” – to which I cringe because they are distinguishable. Today we will be discussing ten of the top ways of being a great bottom, specifically in Kink/BDSM, (if interested in how to be a better top, go HERE .  The noun is a “bottom” and the verb is “to bottom”. A “bottom” is a term originally derived from gay male culture that connotes a sexual positioning preference, generally meaning the one who is the receptive partner, (as opposed to top which indicates the active partner, or switch suggesting giving and receiving), and for our purposes today indicates the person receiving physical activity from a top. Read more

Venus In Fur San Francisco

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I had a wonderful opportunity to see a production with ACT, (American Contemporary Theater), recently of Venus in Fur, and adaptation to the novella written by Sachor Von Masoch whose name is the origin of Masochism. If you are not familiar with the book, (he woos his Wanda, a beautiful, wealthy, young woman and “transforms” her into his cruel venus then leaves her in the end), which begs the question of who is master, who is slave, no worries! This production spells it out with a contemporary edge that is delightfully cunning, yet not overly clever. I was fixated for all 90 minutes. Brilliant!

And right now, ACT is offering a special promo for kinksters and curious ones. Here it is:

VENUS IN FUR COPY / SPECIAL OFFER
A.C.T. presents the acclaimed new comedy, Venus in Fur at the Geary Theater. When a young actress auditions for a new play based on the classic novel about sexual domination, the rehearsal room explodes into a playful, witty, and erotic game of cat and mouse between her and a gifted young director. Hailed by theNew York Times as “90 minutes of good, kinky fun” you can save up to 50% off tickets to select performances through April 3. To save, order online at www.act-sf.org/venus and use promo-code dominance when ordering. All tickets / discounts subject to availability. Tickets must be ordered by March 28.

Enjoy the Show!

Sexuality: How to Encapsulate it in a Few Minutes!

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This snappy video encapsulates Gender and Sexuality Studies in one small piece. I kinda love this guy. I keep finding his videos even though I’m not sure exactly who he is. Do you? In any case, he hit the nail on the head for me when he said this “So a biological female can be a man who only has sex with women despite the fact that he’s attracted to both men and women and kind of feels more comfortable in feminine gender roles. That may not be the most common combination of these factors, but it’s certainly not weird.”

Right on. It almost describes me in fact!

Watch this VIDEO to hear all about it.

 

What Does a Dominatrix Look Like to You? by Eve Minax

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“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” 

Guillaume Apollinaire

One of my Sisyphean challenges in life is to demystify the myth of the Dominatrix – to fill out the missing gaps and one-dimensional characteristics that permeate our culture. The unique histories of Dominatrices inform their brave work and pioneering spirit. If you could look closely, (where are the stats anyway?), you would see an illustrious array of talent, skills, philosophies, and courage.
Like many other professionals I know, I too, have a unique history. Raised urban poor, I went on to obtain the first High School degree, and eventually a Master’s, in my family. Literary and theatrical studies combined with extensive pedagogical experience continue to inform my work as a BDSM lecturer, educator, and writer. Years before I would begin to fully understand my own leanings towards Female Domination and BDSM practices, I wrote my graduate thesis on “Subversive Practices in Feminist Performance Art”. Further, like many of my colleagues, I may not fit the stereotype of the Hollywood-produced leather cat suit clad man-eating vixen, but I have practiced the art of Domination with intention and commitment for many years.
The media stereotype of the Dominatrix is rather one-dimensional. The infiltration of SM culture into mainstream society leans primarily towards the fetishistic and aesthetic aspects of BDSM culture, avoiding any deeper underlying issues to the person and her work. In “real” life, Dominatrices are generally stunning; though not always mainstream beauties. We often stand out in a crowd because we tend to be individualistic, living life to the fullest and more often than not standing out as a leader – the one to take control in any number of ways. 
I’d love to see more research done that would illuminate the complexity of a profession that has been misrepresented and misunderstood societally. Like within most professions, a spectrum of representation exists, eg, not all lawyers are bad and not all police officers are good. The Dominatrix also has many layers to her persona, and I have been pondering the many variations exist for some time. 
Here is a partial list of some of the different types of Dominatrices, with basic names that I came up with off the top of my head, many of which can overlap with each other, and others that never mix.
The Domestic Disciplinarian: Could be your Aunty or Woman next door, until she puts you over her knee.
The Medical Specialist: Plays Doctor or Nurse to perfection.
The Rubber Mistress: Has all the rubber clothes and gear you could possible imagine.
The Goddess: Demands worship.
The Fetishist: Fetish is her motivator.
The Bondage Mistress/Top: Loves rope and knows how to use it.
The Whip Mistress: Whip wielding from single tail to cat o’ nine.
The Predator: Hunts you down and take you down.
The Philosopher: Keeps you in line with her words and ethics.
The Classic: Domestic Disciplinarian, Whip Wielder, Bondage Expert and more! The General Practitioner, (also with specialties) of Dominatrices.
The Good Girl Gone Bad: Looks angelic or like the girl next door.
The Seductress: Casts her spell to entice you.
The Counselor/Guide: Takes you where you need to go. 
The Emasculator: Wants your balls, you don’t need them.
Of course, this list is not exhaustive and as I began noting all the variations I realized that not only are there so many types, but that many of us embody any number of Strong Female Authoritarian Archetypes within our Dominatrix Personas which we invoke when appropriate to the scene: Queen, Priestess, Warrior, and Mother to name a few. Just because a Dominatrix self-presents in one archetypal role does not mean she cannot employ another type when necessary however, the Bondage Mistress can care for her bound subject in a very Maternal or Motherly way and once the Predator has captured her prey, she can employ the Goddess to finalize her objectives. Conversely, it would be quite useless for the Whip Mistress to whip the Domestic Discipline client as a Medical Specialist while wearing a black rubber cat suit. Not only do the genres not go together, but the Domestic Discipline aficionado’s needs will not be met and no catharsis would ensue leaving the session flat and ineffectual. 
I have often said that Dominatrices are Psychic Waste Managers, encouraging people to excavate parts of themselves that society deeply discourages: the primal sexual selves. If the libido is not allowed to emerge in a positive creative way, it can be destructive. I also say that the sacred and lascivious are flip sides of the same coin. Knowing who you are as a Dominatrix and how to go about employing different aspects of your self in the work helps achieve therapeutic results with your clientele. There is an old adage to the profession, we may not be therapists, but the work is therapeutic. Knowing oneself in Domination is particularly crucial because of the nature of psychosexual work. Libidinal drives inform our every movement, hence the work itself elicits the question of what drives us sexually. Personally, although I love whipping, I do not consider myself a whip Mistress. When I see my esteemed Whip Mistress colleagues doing the dance of fire and precision, I am truly humbled by their abilities. Would I desire to be them? Yes, but honestly, I must honor my primary arousal in order to be a better Dominant. I suppose I am an Archeologist of BDSM. I love exploring and excavating psychosexual terrain, and the whips and other accoutrements are simply tools that help me unearth buried artifacts.
In examining difference, we must also examine similarity. We Dominatrices all have sadistic streaks, or at the very least enjoy giving pleasure – and if a masochist seeks pain for their pleasure, we are happy to accommodate. We also, ideally, have hard skills in Domination, be they rope rigging, electro-play, or whip wielding.  Often motivated by deep fetishistic desires, we all care about our clientele in a professional fashion. Dominatrices have many similarities but perhaps only one commonality: whatever the archetype or role that we play, we need to push our subjects and ourselves a little deeper into the dark so that we all may extend our psychosexual travels a little further, returning each time with a bit more knowledge and a lot more savvy. 

Pink Label TV — Exciting and New

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See Minax in the true stories… sexual diaries… told in sweat, cum and pixels… with people you may or may not recognize… to watch their sex lives unfold… and who fucks whom… click now to connect to… Point of Contact Studio now on Pink Label TV

For the Crash Pad Series

Bang! Breath, Bondage & Blood: A Saint Valentine’s Festivity at Alchemy Estate

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That moment when Cupid’s arrow plows your ass.

That moment when the whip cracks your flesh.

That moment when your lover smashes into your deepest orifice.

Check it out, ancient rituals and festivities leading up to our current Hallmark notions of Valentine’s Day included She-Wolves, Thong Beatings, Vestal Virgins, Beastly Bondage, Ritual Sacrifice, Wicked Mothers and Fat Babies shooting love arrows into people’s asses.

Let’s revamp history by celebrating love of all things Kink. The primary theme for this Valentine’s Day bash is Breath, Bondage and Blood. So be you a twisted sweetheart with revenge issues, a hunter seeking its prey, or a delighted Cupid armed with bow and arrow, come out and play!

The amazing Cleo Dubois of the Academy of SM-Arts will lead her orgiastic flogging circle. Also expect Deep Probings and Multiple Surprises by other guests. Be prepared for a debauched encounter of love, kink and sadomasochism.

Libations: Metaphorical sacrificial goat and wine (meaning warm taste treats and adult beverages, amongst other things). Bringing your version of edibles encouraged.

Come at 7:00pm for a special play shop with Eve Minax on Breath Control, Improvisational Bondage, and Blood Sacrifice. In other words: Primal Play.

Mingling at 8:30
Flogging circle at 9:00

Mark your calendar for this richly debauched feast of Breath, Bondage, and Blood!

Tickets purchased only in advance at: bang.brownpapertickets.com. This is a private party. Tickets sold in advance ONLY. Tickets will NOT be available at the door.

Exact Address given at ticket purchase.

Bang! Breath, Bondage & Blood: A Saint Valentine’s Festivity

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February 14, 2014 – 7:00 pm –  1:00 am

@ Alchemy Estate 

$25 in advance, $30 last minute

That moment when Cupid’s arrow plows your ass.
That moment when the whip cracks your flesh.
That moment when your lover smashes into your deepest orifice.

Check it out, ancient rituals and festivities leading up to our current Hallmark notions of Valentine’s Day included She-Wolves, Thong Beatings, Vestal Virgins, Beastly Bondage, Ritual Sacrifice, Wicked Mothers and Fat Babies shooting love arrows into people’s asses.

Let’s revamp history by celebrating love of all things Kink. The primary theme for this Valentine’s Day bash is Breath, Bondage and Blood. So be you a twisted sweetheart with revenge issues, a hunter seeking its prey, or a delighted Cupid armed with bow and arrow, come out and play!

The amazing Cleo Dubois of the Academy of SM-Arts will lead her orgiastic flogging circle. Also expect Deep Probings and Multiple Surprises by other guests. Be prepared for a debauched encounter of love, kink and sadomasochism.

Libations: Metaphorical sacrificial goat and wine (meaning warm taste treats and adult beverages, amongst other things). Bringing your version of edibles encouraged.

Come at 7:00pm for a special play shop with Eve Minax on Breath Control, Improvisational Bondage, and Blood Sacrifice. In other words: Primal Play.

Mingling at 8:30
Flogging circle at 9:00

Mark your calendar for this richly debauched feast of Breath, Bondage, and Blood!

Tickets purchased only in advance at: bang.brownpapertickets.com.

Tickets will NOT be available at the door.
We’ll put your name on the will-call list at the door.

Exact Address given at ticket purchase.

New Year Explorations, January 2014

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Hello and Happy New Year Dear Sensual Explorers!

Well, it’s that time of year when people start thinking about New Year’s resolutions and all the new ways of being that they are going to embrace. If you know me, you know that I am not a firm believer in so called resolutions. I feel that setting oneself up for potential failure can actually be potentially detrimental to personal growth. I wonder why we don’t espouse RadicalSelf-Acceptance or Being Here Now as our yearly mantras. That is not to say that one need not be introspective and open to change, but that it’s a balance between loving who we are and leaning into change.

Being aligned with one’s core values and setting goals to achieve those values can be a great way of evolving into the human we so wish to be from the inside out.  So, if you value adventure, then setting goals to improve your sexual explorations is one way to help you achieve that goal. Of course you know me, the education Queen, so I say a great way to improve sexual interloping is to take classes on a variety of topics around sex and sexuality.

Speaking of which, the next Erotic Dominance Intensive is coming up January 24th-26th and space is limited. Setting a resolution to become the next outstanding professional female dominant in a year is a tough call, but achieving your goal to tremendously improve your professional skills is quite possible in the weekend Intensive. Not only will you learn new practical skills and improve on old, you will also learn to connect more deeply with your partners and clientele, creating and solidifying relationships. Further, you will find camaraderie amongst your peers in an intimate educational setting with myself and Cleo DuBois, having more than 40 years experience between us. For further information, please go to the SM-ARTS website for more information or to apply.

Looking ahead, I will be presenting “A Touch of Kink: Bondassage, Kinky Erotic Massage Tips and Tricks for Lovers” on February 4th at the SF Citadel…just in time for that gooey love bucket holiday.

Until then, in love and kink,

Eve